FLAVOR: CoolMint
BRAND: Colgate MaxFresh
ADA ACCEPTED: No
TOOTHBRUSH USED: Colgate "the cheap kind on the bottom shelf in the Rocky Hill Walmart"
TOOTHBRUSH USED: Colgate "the cheap kind on the bottom shelf in the Rocky Hill Walmart"
I ogle this tube as I scan the travel toiletries: metallic blue with an image of breath strips bursting forth from a tiny, glittering dollop of magic. Upon closer inspection, I discover an enticing statement to coincide with the visual: "Infused with Dissolvable Mini Breath Strips" to "Experience a Whole New Dimension of Freshness." I love metallic blue. I love glitter. I love gels infused with goodies that glitter. I love expanding my horizons in fresh experiences. It’s perfect!
I should have realized from the blue packaging and the dazzling blue smear, that this toothpaste would, in fact, be blue gel. Suddenly I’m seven. I’m begging my mom for blue-raspberry-flavored liquid candy in the checkout line. She snorts and hands me blue tooth gel instead. The texture of gel makes me shudder—like when I hear extremely dry hands lightly graze a soft sweater and the skin, like thousands of tiny human Velcro claws, snags on the sweater. Despite these setbacks, I proceed. The prospect of dissolvable breath strips in my toothpaste is too exciting.
The foam is blue, but minty—I half expect it to taste bubble-gummy. I feel guilty as if I just brushed my teeth with Pixy Stix, but I have no sugar high; only fresh breath. I don't notice the breath strips.
In sum, Colgate MaxFresh with MINI BREATH STRIPS fluoride toothpaste is neat-looking and a super-exciting idea, but it is more like Ho-HumFresh with FD&C blue no. 1 fluoride tooth gel. A more appropriate image to depict: toothless women in eastern Europe carrying baskets of fruit, dipping their fingers into a tub of MaxFresh gel, and gently massaging their gums. Now that's worth infusing a breath strip or two!
—Alice
