27 December 2008

Aquafresh Extreme Clean "Original Experience"

FLAVOR: Original Experience
BRAND: Aquafresh Extreme Clean
ADA ACCEPTED: No
TOOTHBRUSH USED: Colgate 360°

This toothpaste comes in a neat plastic box, but it totally sucks.

If you expect this toothpaste's "Original Experience" to take you back to the wistful olden days of soda shoppes, stickball, and brushing your teeth with tooth-powder and a wooden toothbrush, you will be sorely disappointed. If you expect its "Extreme Clean" to taste like Mountain Dew, Rollerblades, or BMX bicycles, you will be sorely disappointed.

Because—surprise!—this toothpaste tastes like mint. The paste itself is a lovely swirl of creamy white and pearlescent orange, so you would expect it to taste like an orange Creamsicle or something, but of course it doesn't. You might think it has a slight citrus aroma as you brush your teeth, but this is only your brain tricking you with a phantom sensation to compensate for the regret you have from purchasing such a disappointing toothpaste.
Obviously it cleans your teeth (it's toothpaste, for god's sake, it had better fucking clean your teeth). But to the point of extremity? Of course not.

If this toothpaste has anything going for it, it's that it gets really foamy when you brush. EXTREMELY foamy? Yes, extremely foamy.


—Michael